I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
