we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
