I want to walk on stilts...naked
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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