The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Shame - the story of my life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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