I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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