Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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