Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
