I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
