so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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