are you still at the devil's house?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
