plz talk dirty to me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
