dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
