Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Everclear isn't food dammit
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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