umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
