Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Also, beer. Big fan.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
