Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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