There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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