I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
