I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
