Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
