There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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