Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
