oh god the rape fog is back!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
