I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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