Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
