Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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