meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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