didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
