I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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