OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
