Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
