forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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