I'm pants shitting drunk right now
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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