So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
