Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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