awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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