the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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