the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
