that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
