I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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