just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
