it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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