I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
did you just send me my own nude
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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