Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
