I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
