yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
