i need an iv and a liver transplant
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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