you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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