You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
