I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
