I wanna passion pit in your ass
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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