He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
