Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
this beer tastes like vomit already
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
