It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
