Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
